Contemporary Conversion Conundrums

Question #1: Who is a Jew?

Are Jews an ethnic group?

Question #2: What is a Jew?

Or is Judaism a religion?

Question #3: Teaching a Non-Jew?

May I teach Torah to someone who is interested in becoming Jewish?

Introduction

When our ancestors accepted collective responsibility to observe the Torah, they did so by performing bris milah, immersing in a mikveh and offering a korban. So, too, a non-Jew who is joining the Jewish people is entering the same covenant and follows a similar procedure (Kerisus 9a). When the bris milah is performed, a special form of the brocha is recited: lamul es hageir. Immediately after immersion in the mikveh, the new convert recites a brocha, al hatevilah.

Since, unfortunately, no korbanos can be offered today, an individual may join the Jewish people and become fully obligated to fulfill all the mitzvos without fulfilling this korban requirement. (We derive from a pasuk that geirim are accepted even in generations that do not have a Beis Hamikdash.) However, when the Beis Hamikdash is iy”H rebuilt, every geir will be required to offer a korban olah, which is completely burnt on the mizbei’ach (Rambam, Hilchos Issurei Bi’ah 13:5). Those who have already become geirim will be obligated to bring this korban at that time.

The privilege of becoming a geir tzedek comes with very exact and exacting guidelines. On a technical level, the geir is accepting responsibility to perform mitzvos. Through the geirus procedure, he creates an obligation upon himself to observe mitzvos (Birkas Shemuel, Kiddushin #15).

Who is a Jew?

To the non-Jewish or non-observant world, the definition of a Jew is based on ethno-sociological criteria. But to the Torah Jew, the definition of a Jew is someone who is a member of a people obligated to fulfill the Torah’s commandments. For this reason, it is axiomatic that joining the Jewish people means accepting the responsibility to observe mitzvos (kabbalas mitzvos). This concept, so obvious to the Torah Jew, is almost never appreciated by the non-observant. This is why a not-yet-observant Jew often finds the requirements for giyur to be “unrealistic” or “intolerant.” In reality, attempting to bend the Torah’s rules reflects a lack of understanding of the concept of “commandment” and the unique status of the Jewish people as a nation whose definition is: living according to the laws of Hashem.

In other words, the answer to our opening question — are Jews an ethnic group or is Judaism a religion? — is that the Jewish people are a divinely created religious community chartered with a specific relationship with our Creator. He who made the Rules instructed that others desiring to join the community may do so, but those who choose to leave it may not dispense with their obligation. Thus, we are not technically “an ethnic group,” because you cannot “join” one. On the other hand, we are not simply a “religion” either, because someone who does not believe in the tenets of Judaism may still be Jewish.

Desire to convert

Someone requesting to be converted to Judaism is discouraged from doing so. As the Gemara (Yevamos 47a) says, we ask him, “Why do you want to convert? Don’t you know that Jews are persecuted and dishonored? Constant suffering is their lot! Why do you want to join such a people?”

Why discourage a sincere person from joining Jewish ranks? Shouldn’t we promote this noble endeavor?

This is because even a sincerely motivated convert may not successfully persevere when encountering major adversity. We can never be certain what the future will bring, but placing obstacles in the path to conversion helps a potential geir who might later regret the decision. As the Gemara explains, we tell him, “Until now you received no punishment if you did not keep kosher. There was no punishment if you failed to observe Shabbos. If you become Jewish, you will receive very severe punishments for not keeping kosher or Shabbos!” (Yevamos 47a)

A different method of discouraging someone from converting is to explain that someone not Jewish who observes the seven mitzvos benei Noach properly merits olam haba, without becoming obligated to keep all the Torah’s mitzvos.

The beis din overseeing the conversion attempts to ascertain that the candidate wants to become Jewish for the correct reasons. If we suspect that there is an ulterior reason to convert, the potential convert is not accepted, even if they commit to full mitzvah observance. The Gemara and the Rambam note that a beis din should be aware that a man may seek conversion to allow him to marry a Jewish woman, or a woman because she wants to marry a Jewish man. The Gemara and the Rambam rule that we should reject these conversion candidates, because their motivation is not fully sincere.

If the potential convert states that he/she accepts responsibility to fulfill all the mitzvos, we usually assume that the geirus is valid. However, what is the halacha if the potential convert declared acceptance of all the mitzvos, but the individual’s conduct indicates that this was merely lip service? For example, what happens if the convert eats non-kosher food or desecrates Shabbos immediately following his conversion procedure? Is he considered Jewish? This question is disputed by Rav Avraham Yitzchak Kook, first Chief Rabbi of the new yishuv in pre-state Israel, and Rav Chayim Ozer Grodzenski, accepted posek hador and rav of Vilna until his passing in 1940, in which Rav Kook rules that the geirus is valid, as long as the beis din believes, at the time of the conversion, that the person is fully accepting observance of the mitzvos, whereas Rav Chayim Ozer rules that the geirus is invalid. Rav Moshe Feinstein rules that, when it is clear that the person never intended to observe mitzvos, the conversion is invalid. The person remains a non-Jew, since he never undertook kabbalas mitzvos, which is the most important component of geirus (Shu”t Igros Moshe, Yoreh Deah 1:157; 3:106).

Accepting mitzvos

As mentioned above, kabbalas mitzvos is a verbal acceptance to observe all the Torah’s mitzvos. We do not accept a convert who states that he is accepting all the mitzvos of the Torah, except for one (Bechoros 30b). Rav Moshe Feinstein discusses a woman who was interested in converting and was willing to fulfill all the mitzvos, except the requirement to dress in a halachically appropriate manner. Rav Moshe rules that it is questionable if her geirus is valid (Shu”t Igros Moshe, Yoreh Deah 3:106).

Sincerity

It is important to accept only converts who want to join the Jewish people and observe the mitzvos for sincere reasons. This is why converts are not accepted whenever there is political, financial, or social gain in being Jewish. For example, no converts were accepted by batei din in the days of Mordechai and Esther, nor in the times of Dovid and Shelomoh, nor will geirim be accepted in the era of the Moshiach. In these era, we assume that the interest in conversion is influenced by the financial or political advantages in being Jewish (Yevamos 24b). For this reason, Megillas Esther (8:17) refers to misyahadim, “those who made themselves into Jews,” without acceptance by the official batei din. Similarly, in an earlier era, unlearned Jews created ersatz “batei din” during the reign of Dovid Hamelech, converting people against the wishes of the beis din hagadol (Rambam, Hilchos Issurei Bi’ah 13:15).

The Rambam explains that the “non-Jewish” wives that Shelomoh married were really insincere converts. In his words, “In the days of Shelomoh, converts were not accepted by the official batei din…however, Shelomoh converted women and married them… and it was known that they converted for ulterior reasons and not through the official batei din. For this reason, the pasuk refers to them as non-Jews… furthermore, the end bears out – because they worshipped idols and built altars to them” (Rambam, Hilchos Issurei Bi’ah 13:15-16).

A successful spouse trap

In all of the above instances, where there is an ulterior motive to convert, should someone manage to become converted, the giyur is valid, provided that the individual, indeed, accepted full mitzvah observance.

Why is this valid bedei’evid?

Since they want to marry this particular spouse, and the only way to accomplish this is by accepting mitzvos and becoming Jewish, he or she has accepted keeping the mitzvos (Ritva and Nimukei Yosef, both to Yevamos 24a).

Because of this rule, we do not accept someone who is converting because he or she wants to marry someone who is Jewish, even if the convert is absolutely willing to observe all the mitzvos (Yevamos 24b; Menachos 44a). However, if the convert followed all the procedures, including full acceptance of all the mitzvos, the conversion is valid, even though we disapprove of what was done (Rambam, Hilchos Issurei Bi’ah 13:15-18).

Times have changed

This assumption was true at the time of the Gemara and the Rambam, when societal norms did not permit someone to marry Jewish without being part of a Jewish community that was halachically observant. In the contemporary world, a non-Jew can marry someone Jewish without any commitment to the Jewish people. Does this affect the status of someone who wants to convert to Judaism for the sake of marriage?

The two greatest Litvishe halachic authorities of pre-war Europe both contended that it does affect the geirus, but they reached diametrically opposite conclusions. Rav Chayim Ozer noted that, since in the contemporary world, any couple can get married regardless of their religious affiliation, someone wanting to convert and observe mitzvos for the sake of marriage may be accepted for conversion lechatchilah (Shu”t Achiezer 3:27).

At the same time, the rav of Kovna was the Devar Avraham, Rav Avraham Kahana-Shapiro, who, upon seeing Rav Chayim Ozer’s responsum, wrote him a letter disagreeing with his conclusion. The Devar Avraham contended the exact opposite: that since someone today may marry out of their religion, there is no longer anything to prove that the potential convert indeed accepted to observe mitzvos (Shu”t Devar Avraham 3:28). This is based on the approach, quoted above in the name of the Ritva and the Nimukei Yosef, that kabbalas mitzvos that is not completely sincere, but is somewhat compelled by the desire to marry this particular individual, is acceptable only when there is no other way for him or her to marry this particular spouse.

Hillel

We are all familiar with the famous stories of Hillel, which present a halachic conundrum with very differing resolutions. Let me review the situations as they are presented by the Gemara: Three different non-Jews approached Hillel, the first requesting that he convert him on condition that Hillel teach him only the Written Torah and stating that he rejects the authenticity of the Oral Torah. The second requested that Hillel convert him on condition that Hillel teach him the entire Torah while the convert would remain standing on one foot, and the third, on condition that he can become the kohein gadol. Hillel accepted all of them as righteous converts (Shabbos 31a), and then convinced them to study the rest of the Torah.

This Gemara presents a very great difficulty. In what way did any of these converts accept the Torah? The first one certainly did not – he only accepted the authenticity of the Written Torah; therefore, his conversion should be invalid.

Tosafos (to Yevamos 109b s.v. Ra’ah) answers that Hillel realized that all three of these gentlemen were sincere and would keep the entire Torah.

The Maharsha (Shabbos 31a) understands that Hillel did not convert these three men immediately, but accepted them as students to teach them Torah. In his opinion, it is permitted to teach Torah to an individual interested in converting, since its purpose is to enable him or her to observe mitzvos properly as a Jew.

On the other hand, Rabbi Akiva Eiger holds that Hillel converted the three of them immediately, and only after they were halachically Jewish was he permitted to teach them Torah, In his opinion, it is forbidden to teach Torah to a non-Jew simply because he is in the process of conversion.

Thus, our opening third question —  May I teach Torah to someone who is interested in becoming Jewish? – is a dispute among these acharonim.

Common practice is to follow the Maharsha’s approach. Therefore, if the beis din is convinced of the sincerity of a potential convert, they will usually recommend an appropriate program whereby he or she can learn about Judaism and become knowledgeable in mitzvah observance and proper Torah perspective, to prepare them for their eventual conversion to Judaism.

Typical anecdotes

I shall now present to our readers various situations thatI know of concerning potential converts.

Tom

Tom was converted by a non-Orthodox rabbi because his father wanted him to be of his own religion and not that of his mother. At one point in Hebrew school, he mentioned his Judaic origins to one of his teachers – who happened to be Orthodox. At a discreet time, the teacher told him that how to live his life was his own decision, but he should be aware that his conversion would not be recognized by an Orthodox Jew, or by the State of Israel, to allow him to marry someone Jewish. When he got older and began searching for authentic Yiddishkeit, he remembered being told that his status as a Jew was questionable, at best. He found a proper beis din for conversion and persuaded them that he was seriously interested in observing the Torah and becoming halachically Jewish. He then underwent a proper geirus. Subsequently, he was set up on a shidduch with a ba’alas teshuvah, and they have built a Torah family together. By the way, he no longer goes by the name of Tom.

Manny

Manny’s mother and younger siblings underwent conversion when his sibs were all under the age of twelve. Manny, who eventually became fully frum, was already a teenager at the time of the conversion and also went through the conversion process, although he later reported that he did not believe that he accepted mitzvos at the time of the conversion, but simply pretended to join the family. Now an adult and observant, he wonders whether he should perform a new geirus.

According to Rav Kook’s opinion that I presented above, he is certainly Jewish and has no need to undergo any further conversion procedure. According to Rav Chayim Ozer, it is unclear whether he is Jewish, since he attests to the possibility that his conversion was invalid, since he did not really accept mitzvos at the time of his conversion. For this reason, the conclusion was that he should undergo another geirus to remove any doubt as to his status. Manny underwent the second geirus procedure, without reciting a brocha upon his immersion.

Jennifer

Jennifer has two Jewish grandfathers, but both of her grandmothers are not Jewish. Raised to consider herself Jewish, she keeps a kosher home, no small undertaking in the community in which she lives. She scheduled an appointment with a rabbi about an Orthodox conversion. The rabbi, yours truly, told her what observing Torah entails, and also shared with her that it would be virtually impossible for her to observe Judaism all by herself. Realistically, she would need to relocate to a place where she can live an Orthodox lifestyle, within an Orthodox community. Not surprisingly, the rabbi never heard from her again. This is exactly what is meant when we say that we discourage potential converts.

Iliana

When Iliana became interested in joining the Jewish people, she went to the first rabbi she found, not realizing that not all rabbis are Orthodox, and not even knowing what is meant by Orthodox Judaism. After undergoing a non-Orthodox “conversion,” which did not require any acceptance of mitzvos, she realized that this was not the type of being Jewish she wanted. She found a rabbi who had her accept mitzvos and granted her a conversion certificate. However, once she became part of a Jewish community and became engaged, she and her chosson discovered that the rabbi who had issued her the “certificate” was completely unknown to all the rabbis they approached. At this point, she underwent a third conversion with a recognized rav to facilitate her marriage and the acceptance of her children as Jewish.

Conclusion

Throughout the years, I have met many sincere geirim and have been truly impressed by their dedication to Torah and mitzvos. Hearing about the journey to find truth that brought them to Judaism is truly fascinating. What would cause a gentile to join the Jewish people, risk confronting the brunt of anti-Semitism, while at the same time being uncertain that Jews will accept him? Sincere converts are drawn by the truth of Torah and a desire to be part of the Chosen People. They know that they can follow the will of Hashem by doing seven mitzvos, but they insist on choosing an all-encompassing Torah lifestyle. A geir tzedek should be treated with tremendous love and respect. Indeed, the Torah gives us a special mitzvah, repeated many times in the Torah, to “Love the Geir,” and we daven for them, daily, in our Shemoneh Esrei!

How Does Someone Convert to Judaism?

When our ancestors accepted responsibility to observe the Torah, they did so by performing bris milah, immersing in a mikveh, and offering a korban. In the same way, a non-Jew who chooses to join the Jewish people is entering the same covenant and must follow a similar procedure (Kerisus 9a).

The privilege of becoming a geir tzedek comes with very exact and exacting guidelines. On a technical level, the geir is accepting responsibility to perform mitzvos. Through the geirus procedure, he creates an obligation upon himself to observe mitzvos (Birchas Shmuel, Kiddushin #15).

DEFINITION OF A JEW

To the non-Jewish or non-observant world, the definition of a Jew is based on sociological criteria. But to the Torah Jew, the definition of a Jew is someone who is a member of a people who are obligated to fulfill all of the Torah’s commandments. For this reason, it is axiomatic that no one can become Jewish without first accepting the responsibility to observe mitzvos (kabbalas mitzvos). This concept, so obvious to the Torah Jew, is almost never appreciated by the non-observant. Someone who does not (yet) observe mitzvos himself usually does not appreciate why observing mitzvos is imperative to becoming Jewish. This is why a not-yet-observant Jew often finds our requirements for giyur to be “unrealistic” or even “intolerant.” However, in reality, attempting to bend the Torah’s rules reflects intolerance, or, more exactly, a lack of understanding. The Torah Jew realizes that the basic requirement for becoming a Jew is accepting Hashem’s commandments, since a Jew is, by definition, someone who is committed to leading his life in its every detail according to the laws of the Torah.

DISCOURAGE CONVERTS

As we all know, when someone requests to be converted to Judaism, we discourage him. As the Gemara (Yevamos 47a) says, if a potential convert comes, we ask him, “Why do you want to convert? Don’t you know that Jews are persecuted and dishonored? Constant suffering is their lot! Why do you want to join such a people?”

Why do we discourage a sincere non-Jew from joining Jewish ranks? Shouldn’t we encourage someone to undertake such a noble endeavor?

The reason is that, even if the potential convert is sincerely motivated, we still want to ascertain that he or she can persevere to keep the mitzvos, even under adversity. Although we can never be certain what the future will bring, by making the path to conversion difficult, we are helping the potential convert who might later regret his conversion, when the going gets rough. Because of this rationale, some batei din deliberately make it difficult for a potential convert, as a method of discouraging him. As the Gemara explains, we tell him, “Until now you received no punishment if you did not keep kosher. There was no punishment if you failed to observe Shabbos. If you become Jewish, you will receive very severe punishments for not keeping kosher or Shabbos!” (Yevamos 47a)

I have used a different method of discouragement, by informing potential converts of the seven mitzvos bnei Noach. In so doing, I point out that they can merit olam haba without becoming obligated to keep all the Torah’s mitzvos. In this way, I hope to make them responsible, moral non-Jews, without their becoming Jewish.

I once met a woman who was enthusiastically interested in becoming Jewish. Although she was living in a town with no Jewish community – she was keeping a kosher home!

After I explained the mitzvos of bnei Noach to her, she insisted that this was not enough for her. She wanted to be fully Jewish.

Because of her enthusiasm, I expected to hear from her again. I was wrong. Perhaps her tremendous enthusiasm petered out. Alternatively, and more likely, she found a different way to consider herself Jewish, either on the basis of her grandfather’s Judaism, or a “conversion” that was more “flexible.”

Had we accepted her for conversion immediately, she would have become a sinning Jew, instead of a very observant non-Jew, which is what she is now. These are the exact issues that Chazal were concerned about. Therefore, they told us to make it difficult for someone to become Jewish, to see whether his or her commitment survives adversity. It was better that this woman’s enthusiasm waned before she became Jewish than after she became Jewish and had no way out.

The following story from my personal experience is unfortunately very common. A gentile woman, eager to marry an observant Jewish man, agreed to fulfill all the mitzvos as a requirement for her conversion. (As we will point out shortly, this is not a recommended procedure.) Although she seemed initially very excited about observing mitzvos, with time she began to lose interest. In the end, she gave up observance completely. The unfortunate result is that she is now a chotei Yisrael (a Jew who sins).

MOTIVATION FOR CONVERTING

We must ascertain that the proposed convert wants to become Jewish for the correct reasons. If we discern or suspect that there is an ulterior reason to convert, we do not accept the potential convert, even if he is committed to observing all the mitzvos.

For this reason, converts are not accepted at times when there is political, financial, or social gain in being Jewish. For example, no converts were accepted in the days of Mordechai and Esther, nor in the times of Dovid and Shelomoh, nor will geirim be accepted in the era of the Moshiach. During such times, we suspect that the convert is somewhat motivated by the financial or political advantages in being Jewish (Yevamos 24b). This applies even if we are certain that he will observe all the mitzvos.

Despite this rule, unlearned Jews created “batei din” during the reign of Dovid HaMelech and accepted converts against the wishes of the beis din hagadol (Rambam, Hilchos Issurei Bi’ah 13:15). There is much literature on whether these geirim are accepted, but, if indeed their conversion was sincere and afterward it is obvious that this is true, they will be accepted.

The Rambam explains that the “non-Jewish” wives that Shlomoh married were really insincere converts. In his words, “In the days of Shlomoh, converts were not accepted by the official batei din…however, Shlomoh converted women and married them…and it was known that they converted for ulterior reasons and not through the official batei din. For this reason, the pasuk refers to them as non-Jews…furthermore, the end bears out that they worshipped idols and built altars to them” (Rambam, Hilchos Issurei Bi’ah 13:15-16).

Because of this rule, we do not accept someone who is converting because he or she wants to marry someone who is Jewish, even if the convert is absolutely willing to observe all the mitzvos (Yevamos 24b). I have seen numerous instances of non-Jews who converted primarily for marriage and who agreed to keep all the mitzvos at the time of the conversion. Even in the instances where mitzvos were indeed observed initially, I have seen very few situations where mitzvos were still being observed a few years (or even months) later.

GEIRUS WITH IMPROPER MOTIVATION

What is the halachic status of someone who went through the geirus process for the wrong reasons; for example, they converted because they wanted to marry someone?

If the convert followed all the procedures, including full acceptance of all the mitzvos, the conversion is valid, even though we disapprove of what was done. If the convert remains faithful to Jewish observance, we will treat him with all the respect due to a Jew. However, before reaching a decision as to his status, the beis din waits a while, to see whether the convert is indeed fully committed to living a Jewish life (Rambam, Issurei Bi’ah 13:15-18).

However, someone who is not committed to mitzvah observance and just goes through the procedures has not become Jewish at all.

Jim was interested in “converting to Judaism” because his wife was Jewish, and not because he was interested in observing mitzvos. At first, he went to a Rav who explained that he must observe all the mitzvos, and certainly they must live within a frum community. This was not what Jim had in mind, so he went shopping for a “rabbi” who would meet his standards. Who would believe that there is any validity to this conversion?

CONVERSION PROCESS

How does a non-Jew become Jewish? As mentioned above, Klal Yisrael joined Hashem’s covenant with three steps: bris milah (for males), immersion in a mikveh, and offering a korban (Kerisus 9a). Since no korbanos are brought today, the convert becomes a geir without fulfilling this mitzvah. (We derive from a pasuk that geirim are accepted even in generations that do not have a Beis HaMikdash.) However, when the Beis HaMikdash is iy”H rebuilt, every geir will be required to offer a korban olah which is completely burnt on the mizbei’ach (Rambam, Hilchos Issurei Bi’ah 13:5). Those who have already become geirim will become obligated to bring this korban at that time.

Besides these three steps, the convert must accept all the mitzvos, just as the Jews originally took upon themselves the responsibility to observe all the mitzvos.

Preferably, each step in the geirus procedure should be witnessed by a beis din. Some poskim contend that the bris and tevilah are valid even if not witnessed by a beis din. But all poskim agree that if the kabbalas (accepting) mitzvos does not take place in the presence of a beis din, the conversion is invalid (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh Deah 268:3). Thus, a minimal requirement for proper giyur (conversion) is that the geir’s commitment to observe all the mitzvos and practices of a Jew be made in the presence of a kosher beis din. Any “conversion” with no commitment to mitzvos is, by definition, invalid and without any halachic foundation.

Unfortunately, some well-intentioned converts have been misled by people purporting to be batei din for geirus. I know of more than one situation in which people underwent four different conversion procedures, until they performed a geirus in the presence of a kosher beis din with proper kabbalas mitzvos!

KABBALAS MITZVOS

As mentioned above, kabbalas mitzvos is a verbalized acceptance to observe all the Torah’s mitzvos. We do not accept a convert who states that he is accepting all the mitzvos of the Torah except for one (Bechoros 30b). Rav Moshe Feinstein discusses a woman who was interested in converting and was willing to fulfill all the mitzvos, except the requirements to dress in a halachically tzenuah manner. Rav Moshe rules that it is questionable if her geirus is valid (Shu”t Igros Moshe, Yoreh Deah 3:106).

If the potential convert states that he/she accepts responsibility to fulfill all the mitzvos, we usually assume that the geirus is valid. However, what is the halacha if a person declares that he accepts the mitzvos, but his behavior indicates the opposite? For example, what happens if the convert eats non-kosher food or desecrates Shabbos immediately following his conversion procedure? Is he considered Jewish?

Rav Moshe Feinstein rules that, when it is clear that the person never intended to observe mitzvos, the conversion is invalid. The person remains a non-Jew, since he never undertook kabbalas mitzvos, which is the most important component of geirus (Shu”t Igros Moshe, Yoreh Deah 1:157; 3:106).

BEIS DIN

As mentioned before, conversion is an act that requires a proper beis din, meaning minimally, three fully observant male Jews.

Since a beis din cannot perform a legal function at night or on Shabbos or Yom Tov, conversions cannot be performed at these times (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh Deah 268:4).

CHILD CONVERSION

Until now we have discussed the conversion of adults. A child can also be converted to Judaism (Kesubos 11a). There are two common reasons why this is done: either when the child’s parents are converting to Judaism, or when a non-Jewish child is adopted by Jewish parents.

The conversion of a child involves an interesting question. As we explained above, the convert’s acceptance of the mitzvos is the main factor that makes him into a Jew. However, since a child is too young to assume legal obligations and responsibilities, how can his conversion be valid when it is without a legal acceptance of mitzvos?

The answer is that we know that children can be converted from the historical precedent of Sinai, where the Jewish people accepted the Torah and mitzvos. Among them were thousands of children who also joined the covenant and became part of klal Yisrael. When these children became adults, they became responsible to keep mitzvos (Tosafos, Sanhedrin 68b). Thus, in the case of giyur katan, the geirus process consists of bris milah and immersion in a mikvah.

There is, however, a qualitative difference between a child who becomes part of the covenant together with his parents and an adopted child who is becoming Jewish without his birth parents. In the former case the parent assumes responsibility for the child’s decision (Kesubos 11a; Rashi, Yevamos 48a s.v. eved), whereas an adoptive parent cannot assume this role in the conversion process. Instead, the beis din supervising the geirus acts as the child’s surrogate parents and assumes responsibility for his geirus. This same approach is used if a child comes of his own volition and requests to be converted (Mordechai, Yevamos 4:40).

CAN THE CHILD REJECT THIS DECISION?

Yes. If the child convert decides upon reaching maturity that he does not want to be Jewish, he invalidates his conversion and reverts to being a gentile. The age at which a child can make this decision is when he or she becomes obligated to observe mitzvos, twelve for a girl and thirteen for a boy (Shu”t Igros Moshe, Yoreh Deah 1:162).

CAN HE CHANGE HIS MIND LATER IN LIFE?

No. Once the child achieves maturity and is living an observant lifestyle, this is considered an acceptance of the conversion that cannot be rejected afterwards.

WHAT IF THE CHILD CONVERT WAS UNAWARE THAT HE WAS A GEIR AND DID NOT KNOW THAT HE HAD THE OPTION?

Rav Moshe Feinstein discusses the case of a couple that adopted a non-Jewish child but did not want to tell him that he was adopted. (Not telling the child he is adopted may be inadvisable for psychological reasons, but this is an article on halacha, not psychology.) Rav Moshe raises the following halachic reason why the parents should tell the child that he is a convert. Assuming that the child knows he is a child convert, he has the option to accept or reject his Judaism when turning bar mitzvah (or bas mitzvah for a girl), which is a time that the parents have much influence on their child. Subsequent to this time, he cannot opt out of Judaism. However, if he does not discover that he is a convert until he becomes an adult, he would have the option at that time to accept or reject his Judaism, and the parents have limited influence on his decision.

WHAT IF THE CHILD WANTS TO BE A NON-OBSERVANT JEW?

What is the halacha if the child at age thirteen wants to be Jewish, but does not want to be observant?

There is a dispute among poskim whether this constitutes a rejection of one’s conversion. Some contend that not observing mitzvos is not the same as rejecting conversion; the conversion is only undone if the child does not want to be Jewish. Others contend that not observing mitzvos is considered an abandonment of one’s being Jewish.

Many years ago I asked my rebbe, Rav Yaakov Kulefsky zt”l, about the following situation. A boy underwent a giyur katan and was raised by non-observant “traditional” parents who kept a kosher home but did not observe Shabbos. The boy wanted to be Jewish without being observant, just like his adoptive parents. The family wanted to celebrate his bar mitzvah in an Orthodox shul and have the boy read from the Torah. Was this permitted or was the boy considered non-Jewish?

Rav Kulefsky, zt”l, paskened that the boy could read from the Torah and was considered halachically Jewish. Other poskim disagree, contending that being halachically Jewish requires acknowledging the mitzvos we must perform. Someone who rejects the mitzvos thereby rejects the concept of being Jewish.

GEIRIM ARE SPECIAL

If a potential geir persists in his determination to join the Jewish people, the beis din will usually recommend a program whereby he can learn about Judaism and set him on track for giyur. A geir tzedek should be treated with tremendous love and respect. Indeed, the Torah gives us a special mitzvah to “Love the Geir,” and we daven for them daily in our Shmoneh Esrei!

Throughout the years, I have met many sincere geirim and have been truly impressed by their dedication to Torah and mitzvos. Hearing about the journey to find truth that brought them to Judaism is usually fascinating. What would cause a gentile to join the Jewish people, risk confronting the brunt of anti-Semitism, while at the same time being uncertain that Jews will accept him?  Sincere converts are drawn by the truth of Torah and a desire to be part of the Chosen People. They know that they can follow the will of Hashem by doing seven mitzvos, but they insist on choosing an all-encompassing Torah lifestyle.

One sincere young woman, of Oriental background, stood firmly before the beis din. “Why would you want this?” questioned the Rav.

“Because it is truth and gives my life meaning.”

“There are many rules to follow,” he cautioned.

“I know. I have been following them meticulously for two years,” was the immediate reply. “I identify with the Jews.”

After further questioning, the beis din authorized her geirus, offering her two dates convenient for them. She chose the earlier one, so she could keep one extra Shabbos.

We should learn from the geir to observe our mitzvos every day with tremendous excitement – just as if we had received them for the first time!

image_print